Unfortunately, Mr. Davenport refused to come around to my way of thinking, so one could argue that he brought this whole sorry state of affairs on himself.
He's currently gagged and bound to a chair in the special basement beneath the cellar that I normally reserve for officials from the council, but I'm confident that given time, he'll see the error of his ways.
The wife's none too pleased of course; in fact she's being most irrational about the whole situation. 'Our customers pay to sleep in beds Brian, not the cellar!' she yelled when I revealed my little secret about Mr. Davenport. 'We can go out for dinner anytime.'
'Except we can't!' I snapped back. 'We're tied to this place ... Perhaps now Mr. Davenport knows how it feels!'
Some birthday this turned out to be. The big 5-0 and instead of a romantic meal for two at that swanky new restaurant overlooking the harbour where even your wallet gets its own chair, we get to eat beans on toast in front of X-Factor.
It's not like I'm overreacting - I did after all explain the situation to Mr. Davenport when he phoned to make the reservation with us.
'Yes, Brian' he'd said, in that nasal voice of his that grates on my nerves like chalk on a blackboard. 'You have my word - I will definitely be with you by 7pm ... Of course I'll phone and let you know if anything changes, but don't worry – I'll be there!'
Almost midnight it was when he finally graced us with his presence - mobile phone surgically attached to the side of his face.
'Sorry I'm late - I stopped off for dinner with friends and didn't like to be rude,' he mouthed before continuing his conversation with whomever it was he was gassing to on the other end of the phone. Didn't mind being rude to us though did he?
I'm not an unreasonable person and I know I can't keep him down there forever, but a little time alone in the basement to reflect and consider how his behaviour affects those around him could do him the world of good. He might even apologise?
Alison said I was mad and you know what? I agree. You can't treat people like that, but for the record I am not mad ...
I AM ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS!!
© LE Willetts 2014